


We all fall down

by JxKnight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JxKnight/pseuds/JxKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been many years since the terrorist organisation commonly known as the Titans made their first strike against humanity, and since then, many attacks have followed. Unlike other terrorists they do not target a certain group of people and they have not left behind a manifesto. Only one thing is known about the Titans; the countless humans they kidnap are kept like cattle, to be eaten.<br/>In the Titans wake humanity united and formed the Survey Corps, an international special force with the sole purpose stopping the Titans. But how can they stop an organisation that they do not understand?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fanfic because I wanted to take a break from my own original story. I'm hoping that this story will be there in the background - just something to write on when my own characters are giving me grief.  
> Other than that... If you've stumbled in here, I hope you'll enjoy the story. The first chapter will be more of a prologue; I'll try to get the plot going more after that. ^^

“Armin, I heard about your promotion! Congratulations!”

Armin literally beamed at me and I felt my own face mirror his expression. God, it felt great to see him smiling like that.

“Thank you, Eren,” he replied, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “To be honest, it still feels surreal. I’m waiting for them to call and tell me they made a mistake.”

“Armin.” I sighed. It was so like him to say something like that. Even when everyone else saw how great he was he failed to see it himself. “You’re one of the best strategists in the entire Corps. If anything, I’m surprised Commander Erwin didn’t ask for your assistance sooner.”

“Eren…” Armin squirmed a little, but through the embarrassment I could see how proud he was. How could he not be? When we first joined the Corps Armin told me that he wanted to become a leading strategist. He wanted to plan the operations to minimize our losses and ensure that we shut down the Titans. With this promotion he was reaching that goal. Three years of blood, sweat and tears had finally paid off, and I couldn’t be happier for him.

“So,” I began as I slung an arm over his shoulders and stared dragging him towards the lift. “Are you ready for your last day with the 104 squad?”

Armin nodded, but out of the corner of my eye I saw him chewing on his lip. I didn’t need to ask to know what went through his mind.

“No one’s gonna be angry with you,” I assured.

He let out a sharp huff and rubbed at his eyes. “You can’t be sure about that.”

“Of course I can! They didn’t even bat an eye when Mikasa got promoted, and that was after what? A month?”

“Mikasa’s different though,” Armin added.

I opened my mouth to argue, but suddenly I was at a loss of words. No matter what I thought about it – and trust me, I didn’t like it – Mikasa was different. She only joined the Corps because I did, but as it turned out, she was a natural. She climbed the ranks with an alarming speed, and now she had her own unit and everything.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit jealous, but hey, can you blame me? After three years of giving it my all I was still in the same place as I began.

When Armin timidly glanced at my face and I realized that he expected me to say something. I hurriedly cleared by throat and offered him a loop-sided grin. “Okay, maybe she is. But that doesn’t change the fact that you deserve this.”

Armin weighed my words, and for once I decided to keep my mouth shut. We rode the lift in comfortable silence and I let my thoughts drift. I didn’t even notice when the lift came to a stop and the doors opened with their usual cheerful chime.

Not until an all too familiar face appeared in my line of vision, that is.

“Hey, Jaeger! Guess what arrived for you?” Jean called, gesturing towards my desk. Despite knowing what I would see I turned my head, I couldn’t help but to look where he pointed, and that was all it took – my good mood went out the window.

“Seriously?” I groaned, and I felt rage boil through my veins as I promptly ignored Jean’s snickers and stomped over to by desk.

The whole fucking surface was covered by a big bouquet of roses.

“They sent even more?” Armin’s voice was laced with worry. “Eren, how long have this been going on now? Are you sure you shouldn’t call the police?”

“I am the police,” I growled, ignoring how immature I knew I sounded. With jerky movements I gathered the flowers. The thorns left cuts on my fingers, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I just dumped them in the trash.

“What the hell is their problem?” I continued. “There is never any note, it’s just a shitload of flowers.”

“That is exactly what I mean.” Armin sighed, but the worry was still etched into his features. “Eren, this level of obsession is not healthy. Sending anonymous gifts is a sign of an intimacy seeking stalker, and I think-“

“Ah, get of his case,” Jean interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? So what if some psycho chick digs Jaeger. He’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”

I couldn’t help it – I grinned. “You know, you’re not so bad, Kirstein.”

“Likewise, Jaeger,” he smirked back at me.

Armin rolled his eyes at us, but I saw the smile playing on the corner of his lips. He could say whatever he wanted – I knew he was pleased with me. To be honest, I was too. Had you told me a year ago that I would be joking around with Jean I would have laughed in your face. Sure, he could still be insufferable at times, but he had matured.

That his maturity developed the very same week that Marco started working in our squad was entirely coincidental, of course.

“You shouldn’t joke about it”, Armin scolded us. “Eren, it could be really serious. Even if you want to avoid reporting it, couldn’t you at least tell Mikasa what’s going on?”

I snorted, and I heard Jean mimic the sound. Sure, of course I should tell Mikasa. I’d just call the funeral home and order a headstone in advance.

I was about to ask Armin if he had lost him mind when we were interrupted by the alarm sounding throughout our floor. Within a split second everyone was at their feet, heading towards the changing-rooms. Our small argument was pushed away to the back of our minds where it would not bother us.

That alarm could only mean one thing – there had been a Titan sighting.

As we ran I turn my head towards Armin and I offered him a loop-sided grin.

“I guess your last day here won’t be so dull after all, huh?”

*

It was a bust.

The location had been so promising when we got there. An abandoned warehouse in the old industrial district – it was a textbook example of the kind of building the Titans utilized.

But although we broke down every single door in there, we found squat. There was not a single trace of human activity in there.

I gave the basement I had been assigned to check one final, disapproving look before I turned to leave. It had been weeks since we found any leads and I was feeling more and more restless with each passing day. How could we ever take down the Titans if we could never seem to even find them? I heaved a frustrated sigh and tapped at my earpiece, bringing it back to life with a soft screech of static.

“Hey, Armin? Did you guys find anything?”

His response was almost immediate.

“ _Negative. There’s no trace of Titan activity anywhere in the vicinity. We just contacted Commander Shadis and he ordered us to retreat._ ”

I loosely kicked at the doorframe as I passed it. Great. The first lead in weeks and it turns out to be a dead-end. Internally I cursed whoever called in to the tip-line. Why would anyone report this place to begin with? Judging by the thick layer of grime and dust, no one had been in this godforsaken place for ages.

I huffed once before tapping my radio back into life again.

“Copy that. I’ll be right up.”

I swiftly climbed the steep staircase and stepped back into the sun. I was greeted a cool wind and fresh spring air. After spending so much time in the stuffy basement it felt amazing. I pulled in a deep breath and stretched before I headed back towards the main hall where we had set up a temporary camp. I walked straight up to Armin and peeked over his shoulder at the blueprints he had brought along. His brows were knitted together in a contemplative frown and his thoughts were almost loud enough for me to hear them.

“Did we check everywhere?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think so, but…” Armin paused. He absently fiddled with a strand of his hair and bit his lip. “It doesn’t feel right,” he mumbled. “This place is perfect for the Titans. It’s isolated, the walls are thick and there’s a really big basement. Yet there is no sign that they have ever set foot in here? Doesn’t that strike you as strange? It is not like the Titans to miss an opportunity like this.”

Now that he put it into words I realized how right he was. This place was almost too good to be true – we should have found something.

“Maybe they thought it was a trap?” I supplied. “As you said, this place is perfect. Maybe they though we staged it to draw them out?”

“Maybe,” he repeated, but he didn’t sound convinced. He had an all too familiar look in his eyes – I had seen in there when we were kids and he forced me to lay yet another complicated puzzle. It was a sharp, calculating edge which would not disappear until he made sense of the situation.

I let out a soft sigh and gently knocked at Armin’s head. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go back ahead of you. I might as well start writing a report on this right away.”

“You do that,” he mumbled distractedly, and then his eyes drifted back to the papers he had laid out all over the big desk.

I threw one last look at him before I walked back outside. As much as I loved him, I would never understand how he could voluntarily go through so much paperwork. As necessary as it was I always found it hard to take time away from everything else to fill out my reports.

“Which is why you now have a mountain of it piled up,” I muttered to myself. I mentally berated myself for always pushing everything until the last minute. Every damn time I came to this point I promised myself that it would never happen again, yet it always did.

With an exaggerated sigh I unlocked the car, but I paused with my hand on the handle. Something felt wrong. I tilted my head in confusion looked around. I had that prickling feeling at the back of my head – it felt like someone was watching me. I carefully studied the environment but I couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Everything was quiet and peaceful. There weren’t even any birds singing.

In the complete silence, the sound of footsteps approaching quickly caught my attention and I turned back towards the building to see Armin running in my direction.

First I wondered why he was in such a hurry.

Then I saw his expression, and I felt my heart drop down into my gut.

“Eren, get down!”

That was the only warning I got. I saw Armin rushing towards me, his eyes wide with fear, but somehow I knew he wouldn’t reach me in time. He was a moment too late.

Before my ears picked up the sound of the explosion I was enveloped in a flaming inferno. Then I was flying. For five long seconds, I was weightless. I sailed through the air in an almost elegant arch and I saw nothing but the wide, almost cloud-free sky.

When I finally hit the ground, I didn’t feel anything. I heard a sickening snap and I braced myself for the indescribable pain that should follow, but it never came. That should have worried me, but suddenly I was so tired. The memory of cramming for my last math-test in high school surfaced in my mind. It felt like that – as if I had studied all night long until I was at the verge of passing out.

My ears were ringing, but through the noise, I think I remember hearing someone calling my name. I know I felt something warm running down the side of my face. But I don’t know if the hands that clutched my wrist to search for a pulse were real or not – by then I was already drifting off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story pretty much writes itself, and I'm loving it.~  
> I was planning on bringing Levi in on this chapter, but he will have to wait until the next one. I wanted to lay down the plot a bit more before I brought him in. Anyhow, I hope you'll enjoy. ^^

When I came to, I realized two things.

Firstly; my left arm hurt like hell. Seriously, it felt like someone had tried to chew it off.

Secondly; I was in a hospital.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that was a good thing. If I was in a hospital then that meant I wasn’t dead, right? At least I hoped that’s what it meant. If Heaven was nothing but an overly clean room smelling of antiseptics… Well, that’d be anticlimactic. On the other hand, I could be in Hell. A metaphorical hell, that is. My head was pounding furiously, it felt as if my body was about to burn to a crisp, and the shrill ringing hadn’t subsided completely. There was another sound though… Voices? I tried to make my mind focus through the sharp aches, and realized that I recognized them.

“…should resign. I need to be there to protect him!”

“Mikasa, you couldn’t have stopped this. It was a car-bomb. If anything, I should have realized it sooner.”

Armin and Mikasa. They were here. Somehow that took the edge of the pain and I felt. Their voices worked like balm on my wounds, and their touches were better than any painkillers the hospital could ever provide. Instinctively I squeezed the hand that was grasping mine – my touch elicited a gasp from Mikasa and she immediately leaned down to study my face.

“Eren? Eren, can you hear me?” Her voice was high and dripped with worry. I opened my eyes – and shut them again immediately. Damn, it was bright. I groaned softly before I forced my eyelids up again. My gaze settled on Mikasa’s face and I tried to smile reassuringly. Her cheeks were red and puffy, as if she had been crying a lot.

“Yeah,” I croaked. My own voice surprised me; I couldn’t remember it ever being so hoarse before. I cleared my throat and let my eyes drift to Armin. “What happened?” I asked, doing my best to talk around the lump in my throat.

“There was a car-bomb.” Armin answered, but then he fell silent and his gaze dropped to the floor. I saw him take a calming breath before he spoke in a rush. “It was a trap. The Titans called in the tip themselves, and while we were searching the building they placed a bomb under your car.” Armin abruptly stopped, and his voice dropped down to a whisper. “I’m so sorry Eren.”

I felt my brows furrow with confusion. “What are you apologizing? It wasn’t your fault, Armin.” In the corner of my eye I saw Mikasa nod in agreement, but Armin rigorously shook his head.

“I should have seen it sooner,” he mumbled. “You could’ve died. You _should_ have died, Eren. You… You broke your neck when you landed.”

A soft gasp escaped me. The snap I had heard… It was my neck? I felt my stomach twist and carefully turned my head – first left, then right. It felt strained, but it definitely wasn’t broken. I studied Armin with confused eyes. “My neck isn’t broken?” I had meant to state it, but the words warped themselves into a question.

“It was,” Mikasa said, and her voice scared me. She forced it to be monotone, but even so it held an undertone of raw agony. Agony that I had put there. “They called me, at my office,” she continued. “And they said that they were ‘sorry for my loss.’ They said that you were…” Her voice died of and she screwed her eyes shut. Her grip on my hand was almost painful but I couldn’t bring myself to pull away.

“You were declared dead,” Armin whispered weakly. “But then you woke up. I saw you flat-line in the ambulance, and then you came back.”

“How?”

That was the only thing I could say. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what they were telling me. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend it.

“We don’t know,” Armin responded weakly. Then he paused and looked at me; he searched my expression for something. I squirmed slightly under the intense stare.

“What..?” I asked hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

Armin remained silent for a few seconds; then he spoke tentatively. “There’s more.”

Mikasa’s grip was vice-like. I couldn’t have broken free even if I had wanted to. When I glanced at her and I noted that her eyes were glazed over, but right under the surface boiled a not-so-subtle rage. She looked as though she would have no qualms about killing someone. Her apparent anger almost pushed me to stay silent, to let the matter drop, but in the end my curiously won out over any fear.

“Can you tell me?” I inquired.

Armin pulled a hand through his hair and huffed. “We scouted the area surrounding the building,” he began. “And it didn’t take us long to find the detonator. It’s a simple disposable mobile – we won’t be able to trace it.” Armin fell silent and watched me – I realized that he was gauging my reaction to what he was about to say.

“We found a flower placed by the detonator. A rose.”

All the air was pushed out of my lungs. A rose.

Suddenly I understood, and I desperately wished that I would have lived on in oblivion forever. I would rather be in the dark than realize that my stalker was a Titan. My stalker ate other human beings. My stalker had tried to blow me up.

My stalker could be the person that had killed my mom.

The raged that exploded in my veins was beyond anything I had ever experienced before. I tasted blood and the outer edges of my vision was suddenly tinged a crimson red. Never before in my life had I felt such a strong urge to hit someone.

“Are you telling me…” I began, but my voice wouldn’t carry. I forced down a shallow, unsteady breath and fixed Armin with a demanding stare. “A Titan sent me flowers?” I spat.

Armin nodded cautiously. “The rose is the same kind as the ones you have received before. That in combination with the fact that you’re not dead right now has put you in the eyes of the Military Police. Because no one can explain how you healed so quickly, they believe that your rapid healing is a result of the Titan’s experiments.”

“They have the audacity to accuse you of being one of _them_. They say that you are a spy,” Mikasa growled. She was practically vibrating with anger – now it was my turn to hold on to her hand, to try and keep her grounded. Try being the operative word. How could I possibly calm her when my own mind was spinning so fast that I barely knew which way was up? My anger was already slipping away. I couldn’t hold on to it, not when there was so much that I didn’t understand. My own body felt alien to me and I hated feeling that way.

“What’s going to happen to me?”

I looked up at the question, and a moment later I realized that the words had come out of my mouth. It wasn’t until then that is struck me – I had no idea what was going to happen to me. I had come back to life after dying. I had healed in a matter of hours. Where did that leave me? Would I even be given a trial, or would they just execute me right away to be on the safe side?

My worry must have been written all over my face, because suddenly Mikasa was rubbing my hand soothingly.

“I won’t let them hurt you,” she promised, and I knew she meant it. And that scared me more than anything else she could have said. I desperately turned to Armin, praying that he would be able to solve this. That was the way we worked, after all – I stumbled into Hell, Mikasa followed me and then Armin pulled us both back out.

“Commander Erwin is here,” Armin assured. “No matter what the Military Police thinks, you belong to the Survey Corps. When it comes down to it the final say lies with Commander Erwin – they can only demand him to do so much.”

Once again, he pulled me back from the abyss. Suddenly I felt exhausted. I was safe. No matter what happened I would not be killed. Commander Erwin would never have an agent charged with treason without any proof. And furthermore; he wouldn’t kill a source of information. Traitor or not, the fact remained that a Titan stalked me. Never before had any of them left anything behind, but now they left me a flower. As much as it made my stomach churn thinking about it, I was a link to the Titans. Commander Erwin was definitely too much of a gambler to let that chance slip away.

The knowledge that I would still be breathing tomorrow sucked the energy right out of me.

“I love you, Armin.” I sighed contently and smiled at the way his cheeks turned red. I was so tired. Even now my body felt weak and drained, as if I had just battled a terrible fever. I wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Then, of course, the door to my room was yanked open. Before I could even voice a complaint about it, I was interrupted by an excited squeal.

“You’re really alive!”

I caught a somewhat familiar glimpse brown hair and glasses; then my view was blocked by Mikasa. She wasn’t allowed to carry a gun in the hospital, but I saw the way her hand twitched towards the holster. If she was carrying she wouldn’t have hesitated for a moment before drawing. As angry as she was, I couldn’t help but to wonder if she would have fired right away.

“Who are you? What do you want with Eren?”

“It’s okay, Mikasa.” Armin gently laid a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder to calm her. “This is-“

“I’m Hanji.” I felt myself do a double-take. Her voice was completely changed now that she talked normally – and I recognized it. I had heard it many times before on the radio.

“Squad leader Hanji?” I blurted out. My eyes were still wide and I couldn’t do anything about it. My focus was directed to keeping my jaw from dropping. The Corps leading scientist was here. I didn’t even want to venture a guess as to what she wanted from me.

Hanji leaned to the side to look around Mikasa and smiled brightly at me. “The only and only!” I was momentarily stunned once more. Had she just used a sing-song voice? I wasn’t given time to think about it before she continued. “You are Eren, right? How are you feeling? Does your neck hurt at all?”

“Eh…” That was literally all I could manage. I felt my cheeks heat up under her intense stare and I tried again. “I feel fine, my arm just hurts,” I mumbled. The manic gleam in Hanji’s eyes honestly scared me a little. She was looking at me as if I was a brand new toy that she couldn’t wait until she got her hands on.

“Is that so?” She asked, though I wasn’t sure if she talked to me or herself. “You have to tell me all about it later.” She smiled, and I tentatively returned the gesture.

“What do you mean, ‘later’?” Mikasa cut in. Although she had relaxed considerably when she understood who Hanji was, she was still on edge.

“Ah, no one told you yet?” Hanji’s voice had a surprised edge to it. “As it is unknown why Eren survived and what his connection is to the Titans he is to be under observation. I will be around to run some tests in order to understand how he survived.”

“They’re leaving him with you?”

Mikasa didn’t even try to hide the disbelief in her voice. For once, I was on her side.

“No, no!” Hanji waved her hands, and I felt relief wash over me. “I’ll just be around to test him when he is available. As the higher-ups aren’t sure of they can trust Eren, Erwin could not leave him in my care. They demanded that Eren is kept close to someone who, without a doubt, would able to stop him if he turns out to be a spy after all. So…” Hanji turned to me and smiled sweetly. “From this day onward, you’re going to be a part of Levi’s special unit.”

The instant those words left her mouth, I felt all blood drain from my face.

Corporal Levi’s special unit. The one that shut down more Titan cells than all the other units combined. Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld. Those names were seared into my brain. I couldn’t even guess as to how many lives they had saved. And now I was going to be in their care?

Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief update.  
> My computer crashed, and with that, I mean that I lost everything I had on it. And because I am stupid like that I go really long before backing up my writing, so I lost two months worth of work. Needless to say, I was not happy. But once I stopped wallowing in self-pity I started rewriting my original story. That is my current priority, but know that I haven't given up on this fic. It just won't update until I catch up wth everything that I lost.   
> Once I do, I'll hopefully go back to having weekly updates. ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off; it's been way too long since the last chapter, and I'm sorry about that. As I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, my computer crashed and I lost a lot of my original story. I have just recently caught up with myself on that, and I'll hopefully update more regulary from now on.   
> Secondly; I don't have a beta, so if you find errors somewhere, I apologize beforehand.  
> And last, but not least... I want to thank everyone that leaves kudos. I get just as surprised each and every time, and I love it! It makes it so much more fun to play around with this fic. Next chapter is in Levi's POV, so I hope I'll do him justice, and... Well, I hope you enjoy this little drabble of mine. ^^

My arm was still in a sling, but the doctors had told me that I would be able to take it off in a few days. As much as it confused them, the fact remained that I would make a full recovery.

In the week that had passed since the bombing I had gradually come to terms with the fact that something in my body wasn’t normal. It was hard, but having Mikasa and Armin there helped a lot. As did knowing what was waiting for me after I got discharged – a place in Corporal Levi’s unit. For the first time since my mom was taken I was actually closing in on her killers. Sure, I was getting closer because I was bait, but who cares? I’d taken any chance to bring her justice.

That was what went through my mind as I stepped out of the taxi. I looked up at my new workplace, and I couldn’t do anything but one thing – stare.

My old office had been nice. We’d had a spacious lunch-room, a decent enough office space and a vending machine that worked almost every time. But this was in a whole different league. The exterior was stunning by itself; I had never seen such a white building before. The fumes from the city’s various factories was always quick to taint everything with a thick layer of grime. Nobody bothered to paint anything white anymore – people settled for yellow or grey buildings. That way the dirt wouldn’t stand out too much.

But this? It was kind of like snow on a sunny day; it was so white that it stung my eyes.

I was so mesmerized by the colour – or rather, the lack of thereof – that I didn’t realize someone was approaching me until they spoke.

“Eren Jaeger?”

I flinched at the sudden words and my head snapped to the side – to find Commander Erwin standing there. And suddenly I was very happy that I’d skipped breakfast, because if I had eaten anything, it would have come back out one way or another. I opened my mouth to say something, _anything_ , but all that came out what a pitiful squeak that made my face burn with embarrassment. Erwin arched an eyebrow, but he was polite enough not to comment on it. Instead he waited, and I hurriedly cleared my throat and stood at attention.

“Y-yes, Sir!”

He smiled kindly, but all the same, I saw him look me over with that famously calculating edge in his eyes. Without thinking I squared my shoulders and straightened up. It was unnerving to be put under such close scrutiny. Especially as it felt like he could see right through me; like he knew my every secret.

After what felt like hours, Erwin finally started talking.

“Thank you for arriving on such short notice. I understand that you have gone through a lot, but we had to act swiftly. We need you for ourselves – the Military Police would waste the unique opportunity you provide.” He paused for a moment, hesitating. “…I am sorry about this, Eren. But considering what happened, you are too much of a trump card to be throw away. Your pain is a price we have to pay in order to progress.”

I saw concern flicker across his face for an instant, and somehow that made me feel much safer than I had ever felt since the bombing. I couldn’t help but to smile, and I hoped that it would convey how much I agreed with him.

“I understand. If it can bring us closer to the titans, I don’t mind being bait.”

Erwin visibly relaxed, letting out a long breath.

“Well then, in that case…” He extended a hand towards me, and I felt my chin drop. “I look forward to working with you, Eren.”

After a moment of hesitation I took his hand. “Likewise, Commander.”

He smiled again, and then he gestured towards the building. “Are you ready for the tour, then?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to come out, and we walked inside.

*

I stared. I knew very well how stupid I must have looked, but I couldn’t help it. My mouth was open and I couldn’t seem to remember how to close it again.

Erwin had led me inside, and we went straight for the lift. The ride up had been silent, and I had had time to melt the fact that I was really there. When the lift stopped I had somehow managed to fool myself into believing that I was ready for everything.

I had never been so wrong in my life.

It felt as if I had stepped right into an episode of CSI. Pretty much all of the walls was made out of glass which meant that I could see everything all at once. In the room on my right there were tons of machines I didn’t know the names of mixed up with microscopes, blenders and a large variety of chemicals. On my right I spotted a smaller room with blinds which I recognized as an interrogation room. I also saw a shooting range, and on one wall I spotted the largest collection of guns I had ever seen.

I tried to speak. I really did. But how could anyone expect me to produce eligible language in a situation like this?

I kept staring, lost in thought, until Erwin cleared his throat.

“Your transfer was very sudden, so we do not have an office cleared out for you yet.” He shot me an apologetic smile before he continued. “For the time being, we have moved a desk into Levi’s office. You are to stay there until we can sort out something better.”

My eyes must have been the size of saucers by now. Erwin looked at my awestruck expression with something that was eerily similar to pity in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he showed me around. He pointed out everyone’s personal offices, he showed me the lab and the tech-room and he gave a quick overview of Hanji’s workspace. Our tour ended with Erwin leading me to the lunchroom. When we got there I glanced at the clock, and I was shocked to realize that the entire thing had taken over an hour.

Everyone else would arrive soon.

As if reading my mind, Erwin spoke up. “I should be on my way. They will arrive shortly, and once they do, they will help you get used to the everyday work.” He nodded towards me and headed for the door, but then he paused, one hand on the doorknob. He stood like that for a long moment before turning back to me once more. He had that look in his eyes again – the one that locked me in place and bared my very soul.

“Don’t judge Levi too quickly,” he said, his voice soft. Had it been anyone else, I would have thought that he pleaded. “He’s rough around the edges, and he’s crude and blunt. But if you look past that he isn’t a bad person.”

Before I managed to form any form of coherent reply Erwin had already left. I suddenly felt restless and I paced around, doing what I could to ease my mind. But no matter how I twisted and turned Erwin’s words, I could not escape the fact that it had sounded as if he was legitimately worried that Levi would scare me off.

Well, didn’t that just sound peachy. Should I be worried?

Suddenly the door opened, and I realized that yes, I should. I should be petrified. But not for the reason I thought.

“Eren!”

Before I had time to even blink, my arms were full of Hanji.

“Squad leader-“

She pulled away, still resting her hands on my shoulders, and fixed me with a stern look. “Hey, I told you. It’s just Hanji.” I nodded numbly and her frown melted into a face-splitting grin. That manic gleam was still there in her eyes and I was slightly alarmed to know that she was allowed near any firearms. My eyes briefly flickered towards the direction of the shooting range and I heard someone giggle.

It was not until then that I realized that Hanji had not come alone.

“Hanji, remember what we talked about. Personal space.” Petra beamed me an apologetic smile, and I struggled to return it. It was hard to focus on anything when Hanji was up in my face.

“He doesn’t need personal space.” Hanji pouted, but she did let go off me, letting me draw in a much needed gulp of air. I instinctively moved to stand at attention, but before I had the chance to, Hanji slung an arm over my shoulders.

“Eren, I’m sure you already know everyone. As for everyone else; this is Eren!”

Eld’s lips curled into a small smile and he nodded a greeting. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Eren.”

I took me a beat to gather my bearings, but hopefully they didn’t notice. “The feeling is completely mutual. I look forward to working with you.” I looked them over, one by one, and they as regarded me with open curiosity. Sure, there was a hint of suspicion there. But all of them were polite enough to not voice their doubts, and I was eternally grateful for that.

I knew that they didn’t trust me. It was sickening to know that they entertained the thought that I was a titan, but I did understand where they were coming from. I would just have to earn their trust.

I would earn it. No matter what it cost me.

“Well,” Gunther started, eyes me up and down. Sizing me up. “Levi isn’t getting here in a few hours. Are you up for some target practise?” He paused, a small smile teasing his lips. “I’ll go easy on you,” he offered.

The challenge in his tone got to me and I stood a bit taller. “I can only say the same,” I smirked.

Gunther looked positively baffled, but then he huffed a laughter.

“I’ll make you eat those words, Jaeger.”

I thought that he was making fun of me. Ah, how stupid I had been. Gunther brought me along to the shooting range were we shot on still targets, and I was not allowed to leave until I got a perfect score. Everyone joined us and they watched as I struggled to hit the impossibly small red zone on the dummy. To be honest, it was humiliating. But even though it felt like my face was going to burn of I was glad that Gunther had brought me here.

It took away a lot of the pressure. This way I could keep my hands busy, and the familiar feeling of reloading a gun and catching the recoil kept me grounded. I was in a new place with new people, but the feeling of a gun in my hand was the same. When I felt overwhelmed I could focus in that, and suddenly I felt alright again.

And I couldn’t deny that it was pretty fun. Everyone gave me tips and we fell into a nice rhythm. I began to scratch the surface of my new co-workers, and from what I could see, they were really nice people. I knew that if they gave me the chance, I would be able to do so much good in this unit.

After 45 minutes I landed my perfect score. It was pure luck, to be honest, but Gunther let it slide and we packed up the guns. Hanji talked to me – or rather, _at_ me – about her experiments and I tried to keep up with her despite the medical terms she threw around. I was so engrossed in her explanation that I didn’t notice anything had changed.

Not until Petra shut her phone off and looked at Eld.

“Levi’s on his way.”

I felt my heart stumble at that. Because even if I got along with everyone, it all came down to Levi. He was the one who would decide if I could stay in this unit or not.

Petra must have noticed how tense I got, because she turned to me right away. “Don’t worry.” She said, patting my shoulder with a concerned smile on her face. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t be put off.”

“Corporal Levi is the best in his field. If he looks through you it is simply because he is not certain that you will not drag us down.” Oluo tried to be supportive, I guess.

“You’re a good kid, Eren. Levi will come around.” Eld actually made me feel a bit better, but at the same time, he made everything worse.

Why the Hell did they talk as if Corporal Levi would hate me?

Before I could find an answer to that question the door opened, and I couldn’t help myself – I stared.

Corporal Levi was much shorted than I had imagined him. I noted it, but it was swiftly pushed to the back of my mind. It felt so unimportant in comparison to the expression he wore. Those steel blue eyes held so much contempt that I would not hold the ground guilty if it spontaneously combusted as he glared at it. He turned to face me and I shrank back.

This was it. Everything was ending before it even begun. Nothing so far mattered, because Levi had already made his decision. He hadn’t even met me, yet he had decided that I was not worth his time.

Anger flared up in my chest. As if I would give up before the fight even started. I opened my mouth to say something – anything – but then Levi changed. Our eyes met, and it was as if someone had pressed a switch. His eyes widened a fraction and the ice cold edge melted away. I felt my protest die in my throat, and I clicked me mouth shut.

Levi held my gaze and I could not bring myself to look away.

Looking away first would feel like admitting defeat.

Looking away first would signal that I was afraid.

But more than anything else, I didn’t _want_ to look away.

We stood like that for what felt like an eternity. Then Levi relaxed. He let out a soft sigh, and then he smiled. It was small and gentle and genuine, and it vanished in the blink of an eye. I almost wondered if I had imagined it, but part of me knew that I hadn’t. That smile had been real, and I decided then and there that even if it was the last thing I did, I wanted to see that smile one more time.

“Hello, Eren. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out a hand to me, and before I even registered that I moved I had taken it. Levi still held my gaze and I knew now that he was holding me captive, much like Erwin had. I could not look away. For someone so small his presence in the room was overwhelming.

We shook hands, and Levi held on to my hand for a beat before he pulled back. Then he finally let his eyes wander to everyone else, and I could practically see the emotion drain from his face. “We have lots of work to do,” he stated in a voice that was so much curter than then one he had used a moment ago. “Stop fooling around.”

With that, he turned and walked down the corridor towards his office. His steps echoed in the silence, and nobody moved a muscle until the door closed behind him. Once it did the illusion broke and I could finally bring myself to face everyone.

They stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“He smiled at you,” Hanji whispered, a hint of awe in her voice.

My face flushed, and I could only shrug and turn away to look at Levi’s closed door.

“He did,” I mumbled.

And it had been so beautiful.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short, awfully late chapter. One that I struggled a lot with.  
> In most fanfics Levi is, quite frankly, an ass. I have never seen a fic where he is the poor luvestruck guy, so I tried to fit him into that role without writing him too out of character. I think it worked out alright..?
> 
> I'd love to hear your take on it! ^^

_Levi_

My morning started out as bad as it could get. First, my coffee machine broke, which left me with no other option than to down the horrid caffeinated tea Hanji had gotten me for Christmas. Then I realized what todays date was, and I knew without a doubt that the day would suck.

Today, that kid would join my special squad.

I had worked my ass of assembling the most capable agents in the corps. The sheer amount of stupidity I had to plow through to find those gems had been staggering, and frankly, it made me a bit sick. It was a miracle some of those agents made it all the way into adulthood. Had they been my children I would have left them in the desert once I realized that their limited vocabulary had stopped its expansion.

And talking about vocabularies; maybe I should send Erwin a dictionary? The man obviously needed one, seeing as how he failed to realize the meaning of a special squad. Something special was, as far as I was concerned, something having a [quality](http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/quality_1) that most [similar](http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/similar) things or [people](http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/people_1) did not have. That kid, Jaeger, was as far from special as you could get.

He was glaringly average. Like so many others, he had joined the corps seeking to avenge a lost loved one. He had worked hard – I would not deny that – but that was it. He was not a skilled strategist, nor was he a resource in the field. He was just another faceless soldier. He was cannon fodder, and it pissed me off that I would have to be his babysitter.

Erwin had tried to sugar-coat it. He had given me free reigns when it came to Jaeger. He had promised that I would not have to fill out a single form if the kid bit it, and assured that I would not be responsible for him. _But I would be._ Which is why I hated this whole arrangement. I didn’t want a child running around my feet like a lost puppy, because even if it was a scabby, moronic puppy, I would beat myself up if it died. _When_ it died. It was a stupid puppy. Of course it was gonna get itself killed.

But, alas, Erwin did not budge. I got where he was coming from, so I dropped it; but that did not mean that I had to like it. I was repeatedly called heartless, and I did not mind that. I liked it, even; people don’t mess with you if they expect you to chop of any excessive body parts if they get on your nerves. But regardless of common belief, I did care about the agents in my care. Their safety was my responsibility, and I hated what I was expected to do with Jaeger. They wanted me to dangle in front of the titans like a damn steak.

For the millionth time I wished that Erwin could just clear everything up. If Jaeger was proven not to be a spy then Erwin could take him, or better yet, he could be sent back to his old squad. If he died over there then at least I wouldn’t have more blood on my hands.

With a scowl permanently etched onto my face I left my apartment and left for work. I walked by the lift in favour of the stairs. After I moved in I had paid to have them bleached, and as no one but I used them, they were kept in pristine condition. That could not be said about the lift. The one time I had set foot in there had been traumatizing. It smelled like shit; figuratively and literally.

The trek down the stair was refreshing, but not even after a 90 steps would my eyes stop squinting. Hanji usually nagged at me, saying that I would build up a resistance towards caffeine unless I toned it down. I ignored her, of course. And now I found myself here, wishing that I had a continuous IV with the stuff. With a heavy sigh I yanked open the door to the staircase and stomped across the lobby. I continued outside, and just as I was about to climb into my waiting car my text alert sounded. When the driver sped off into the insane morning traffic I hauled my mobile out to check it.

_Good morning, Corporal. You told me yesterday that your coffee machine broke. I had a feeling you would forget that, so I went ahead and stopped by Starbucks on the way to the office. There is a venti coffee waiting at your desk – hopefully it is still warm when you get there. Have a safe trip!_

_// Petra_

She was an angel. Had there ever been any doubts, they had just been utterly and completely crushed. She managed to make my lips twist into something that might be distantly related to a smile. And she did so on a day that I was already hating with a passion. I texted her back to let her know that I was on my way.

When the car stopped I had to restrain myself not to dash up to my office. As much as I disliked having the kid there I would have to get used to it; meaning I had to at least drop by and say hello. Maybe I’d throw in a warning or two about wasting my time, just for good measure.

I took the lift up to the break room. There was no doubt in my mind that the others had already showed Jaeger everything, and that they had ended up cramped together in that room. I would just have to go there, make sure Jaeger knew I was not happy about this arrangement and then I could withdraw to my own area. We did not have any searches planned for today, so unless something came in we would be at the headquarters all day.

I heard voices through the door and paused to listen. My friends knew me well – they were pretty much scaring the kid off without my help. Good. I wanted to smirk, but I schooled my face into its usual indifferent mask. I was aiming for as much intimidation as possible.

With a swift jerk of the wrist I opened the door. My eyes zeroed in on the unfamiliar face in the room, and...

I stared.

There was no denying it. I stared, and I couldn’t even begin to think about turning away. It felt like I’d been struck by lightning. Every single inch of my body tingled with electricity, and it was all because of that boy. I couldn’t even breathe. I was supposed to be humanity’s strongest, yet I was rendered harmless by just a look from that kid.

A soft sigh fell off my lips, and I found myself smiling. It took every ounce of willpower I had to forcibly wipe it from my face. My body hurt, it _ached_ to express how glad I was to see him. I felt too hot and too cold all at the same time, barely hidden shivers running up my spine. And I didn’t understand why. I had no idea what was happening to me, and in any other situation that would have scared the crap out of me. But I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I didn’t give a fuck if I was about to keel over and die, so long as I got to keep looking at him.

It was not until later, when I was alone in my office, that rhyme and reason finally caught up with me. And once they did I slumped down in my seat. For what felt like hours I sat there, staring at my screensaver.

My brain told me that I was insane, and I wanted to agree.

But my heart was still pounding. My hand was still warm where he had touched it, as if my body was more alive where we had been connected. The exact shade of his eyes was painted on the inside of my eyelids.

I rubbed at my temples, letting out a long-suffering sigh.

I was not falling in love with Eren Jaeger. Love at first sight didn’t exist. It was a concept, something that only happened in fairy tales and soppy movies. _It did not exist._

Only nothing ever existed, until one day it did.

With a frustrated huff I reached for my coffee and downed as much as I could in one big gulp. It burned in my throat, hot enough to leave blisters, yet I couldn’t bring myself to care. I needed caffeine. Part of me was desperately hoping that my heart strained because of withdrawal symptoms. The alternative was far more frightening that taking down Titans.

When a knock sounded through my room I instinctively straightened up, my eyes narrowing. I would know that knock anywhere, and right now I did not want to deal with the mountain of a man that accompanied it.

“Come in,” I sighed. Erwin opened the door before I had finished speaking, and he walked in as though he owned the place. I felt myself deflate – I was going to need more coffee.

“Levi,” he greeted, inclining his head. He paused and studied me, the shadow a smile playing on his lips. “Tired?”

“Don’t even start,” I snapped. Anyone else would have covered at the venom in my voice, but he _chuckled_.

“That bad, huh?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but found myself hesitating.

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what?’” He raised his eyebrows, appraising me. “Eren, of course.”

My blood ran cold and I squeezed my hands into fists. How the hell did he know? Was I that obvious? The mere thought that I might vaguely resemble a lovesick kid was repulsive.

“What about him?” I retorted, keeping my voice disinterested. I knew, I fucking _knew_ that I sounded normal, yet he looked at me like I had a neon sign on my forehead announcing that I was hiding something. We had known each other since we were children, but that did not mean I liked how easily he could read me. Especially when I couldn’t do the same to him.

“I assumed that your worse-than-usual mood was due to the fact that he started working here today,” Erwin mused. He was still looking at me. Scratch that. He was staring as if he wanted to dig into my soul. “Is it?”

“I’ve barely seen him,” I said offhandedly.

“He’s a good kid,” Erwin continued. “But if you really can’t stand having him here, I can have him transferred.”

“No!” The word was out of my voice before I knew that I wanted to say it and I fixed Erwin with the most intimidating glare I could muster. Only when his eyes widened did my mind catch up with what I was doing, and I felt a strong urge to throw myself out the window. I cleared my throat and told myself that the heat rising on my face was just something I imagined.

“I mean, there is no need.”

“I’d say.” The amusement was so clear in his voice that he might as well have been laughing.

“He’s a high-risk target. You’re right; he should be kept close to someone who can without a doubt keep him safe.”

“You like him.” It wasn’t even a question, and I didn’t bother answering. He was grinning so wide that his face practically split in two. “This is…” He trailed off, gesturing vaguely. He was at a loss for words – in any other situation I would have gloated at the fact that I made Erwin Smith stare at something with a slack jaw.

“Don’t.” If anyone even implied that I was blushing I they were dead.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking.”

“Ah, I’m sorry. Next time my best friend – who has never batted an eyelid at someone in his entire life – tells me that he’s interested someone, I’ll just move on to talk about the weather.”

“It’s too fucking hot today. The forecast promised rain.”

“Levi-”

“Just don’t,” I sighed. “It’s nothing. It’ll pass.” The words tasted sour in my mouth. Lies always did, although I would die before admitting that I didn’t believe what I was saying.

“Are you sure about that?” Erwin said, his voice soft. I turned my back to him and looked out the window. I didn’t need to say anything – my silence was all the answer Erwin needed. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I was experiencing something I had never known before. It was a pull unlike anything I had ever imagined and it was so new and strange that I couldn’t even begin to understand it.

“It might be nothing,” I insisted.

“Well, I’ll be there when you make up your mind.”

Erwin smiled and headed for the door, pausing with his hand on the handle.

“Ah, and Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s cute. Your taste isn’t bad.”

The paperweight I threw after him hit the door with a loud crack. He laughed as he walked away from my office, while I cursed.

The damn think left a dent in my door.


End file.
